From the New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/04/nyregion/04religion.html
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
For a mere moment, I forgot
I know this will sound like I am a bit of a nutcase, but I'll say it anyway. Sometimes I forget that Ignatius has Asperger's. Here's today's story.
We were at church, right around the Gloria, when I realized there were absolutely no altar servers. So, I turn to my altar-serving son and say, "Go put on a cassock. They need at least one server." He looks at me with sheer panic on his face. You see, with Asperger's comes a challenge, dare I say an inability, to think on one's feet. When he serves... when he is there on time and as scheduled... he has very little problem (finally) with the ins and outs of altar serving. However, I was demanding for him to do many things that he was unaccustomed to. After about 5 minutes in the pew, I decided I needed to also climb over our pewmates and check on him to be sure he knew what was expected.
There he was, in the room with the cassocks, with tears filling his eyes. As soon as he saw me, he said, "This is really freaking me out." My response, "I know, that's why I came back. You can do this. You will do this. I'll help you through."
His biggest concern was that people would think he was the scheduled server and he showed up super late. I stressed to him that this was not what people would think at all. He was also concerned about how to unobtrusively get to the front of the church without making a big scene. I showed him that he could walk along the side to get to the altar server pew. Neither of these things were "common sense" to him, but both were enough to paralyze him with fear and anxiety.
So, all during Mass today, my mind kept coming back to social stories needed for altar servers with special needs. I did not hear a word of the homily, as I was too busy wondering if Fr. Jerry would take time to be photographed with an altar server in the different roles needed throughout Mass. A simple laminated card in the pew for those kids for whom multi-step directions are difficult to follow. Perhaps a "what if" story with scenarios that could cause anxiety: "What if I drop the water cruet and the crystal shatters everywhere?" "What if I trip on the altar?" "What if I forget what to do?" And, of course, I was trying to determine when I would pull all of this together.
That little voice again. The same one that e-mailed Fr. Jerry about reaching out to special needs kids in our parish, but did not get a response. The one that creeps up every time something like today happens. What if there are kids out there who COULD serve, but whose parents don't think they can do it because of certain challenges they face? There are such easy things that could be done, and yet are not being done. I do not say this judgmentally. Until about 4 years ago, I didn't know what a social story was, because I didn't have to know. I do not expect others, especially those with neurotypical kids of their own, to know what one is. Yes, you should be able to lean over and say to your son, "Hey, they don't have any servers. Go pinch hit." But, alas, it just isn't that easy for some.
The good news...after Ignatius, another boy showed up to help serve. I would like to think it was because Ignatius stepped up... that my putting him through that made another parent realize that we need to instill an instinct for service in our children. It makes me feel better thinking of it that way, rather than thinking of it as the day I forgot about Asperger's.
We were at church, right around the Gloria, when I realized there were absolutely no altar servers. So, I turn to my altar-serving son and say, "Go put on a cassock. They need at least one server." He looks at me with sheer panic on his face. You see, with Asperger's comes a challenge, dare I say an inability, to think on one's feet. When he serves... when he is there on time and as scheduled... he has very little problem (finally) with the ins and outs of altar serving. However, I was demanding for him to do many things that he was unaccustomed to. After about 5 minutes in the pew, I decided I needed to also climb over our pewmates and check on him to be sure he knew what was expected.
There he was, in the room with the cassocks, with tears filling his eyes. As soon as he saw me, he said, "This is really freaking me out." My response, "I know, that's why I came back. You can do this. You will do this. I'll help you through."
His biggest concern was that people would think he was the scheduled server and he showed up super late. I stressed to him that this was not what people would think at all. He was also concerned about how to unobtrusively get to the front of the church without making a big scene. I showed him that he could walk along the side to get to the altar server pew. Neither of these things were "common sense" to him, but both were enough to paralyze him with fear and anxiety.
So, all during Mass today, my mind kept coming back to social stories needed for altar servers with special needs. I did not hear a word of the homily, as I was too busy wondering if Fr. Jerry would take time to be photographed with an altar server in the different roles needed throughout Mass. A simple laminated card in the pew for those kids for whom multi-step directions are difficult to follow. Perhaps a "what if" story with scenarios that could cause anxiety: "What if I drop the water cruet and the crystal shatters everywhere?" "What if I trip on the altar?" "What if I forget what to do?" And, of course, I was trying to determine when I would pull all of this together.
That little voice again. The same one that e-mailed Fr. Jerry about reaching out to special needs kids in our parish, but did not get a response. The one that creeps up every time something like today happens. What if there are kids out there who COULD serve, but whose parents don't think they can do it because of certain challenges they face? There are such easy things that could be done, and yet are not being done. I do not say this judgmentally. Until about 4 years ago, I didn't know what a social story was, because I didn't have to know. I do not expect others, especially those with neurotypical kids of their own, to know what one is. Yes, you should be able to lean over and say to your son, "Hey, they don't have any servers. Go pinch hit." But, alas, it just isn't that easy for some.
The good news...after Ignatius, another boy showed up to help serve. I would like to think it was because Ignatius stepped up... that my putting him through that made another parent realize that we need to instill an instinct for service in our children. It makes me feel better thinking of it that way, rather than thinking of it as the day I forgot about Asperger's.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas to All!
Hoping your Christmas morning was as white and happy as ours! Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Taking pause
In the midst of the day-to-day, there are many things that can be overlooked. A blessing of having a child with special needs is the ability to rejoice in things that others (or myself with my older child) may take for granted.
Suddenly, the magic of reading has entered Max's life. He has started to recognize sight words. He is able to determine beginning consonant sounds of words. He makes requests. He speaks in sentences. He is having "emerging" conversations. The threat of "Santa's watching" works as behavior modification. He can write capital and lower case letters. He can count objects. He imitates tones of voice for requests. He understands that, because it is cold, he needs to wear a coat.
Let's not forget son #1...who knows in the equation y= mx + b which term refers to the slope and which refers to the y-intercept. Who has achieved an A in high school algebra as an eighth grader with minimal to no help from his mother or father. Who completed a science fair project with only minimal adult help. Who gets As and Bs with minimal effort.
This weekend I am most grateful for being able to see what I have been given rather than what I am missing.
Suddenly, the magic of reading has entered Max's life. He has started to recognize sight words. He is able to determine beginning consonant sounds of words. He makes requests. He speaks in sentences. He is having "emerging" conversations. The threat of "Santa's watching" works as behavior modification. He can write capital and lower case letters. He can count objects. He imitates tones of voice for requests. He understands that, because it is cold, he needs to wear a coat.
Let's not forget son #1...who knows in the equation y= mx + b which term refers to the slope and which refers to the y-intercept. Who has achieved an A in high school algebra as an eighth grader with minimal to no help from his mother or father. Who completed a science fair project with only minimal adult help. Who gets As and Bs with minimal effort.
This weekend I am most grateful for being able to see what I have been given rather than what I am missing.
Friday, December 3, 2010
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Friday, November 5, 2010
Waiting for "Superman"
Sometimes you just have to let something settle. Chew on it mentally. Process.
On Wednesday, Jessie and I went to see Waiting for "Superman." If you are not familiar with this movie, please read this synopsis. If you want to see it, and do not wish to hear any spoilers, stop reading this post at this point. Let's start with the trailer:
I remember my days at Blackburn when we discussed "inner city" schools, and I wanted to be a part of teaching in an urban setting. I felt a strong calling to do so.
I have been a teacher for 20 years. My career started in a city, went affluent and private for a few years, came to a school that had both extremes, and has recently alighted upon a school with a large number of students who have what is called "low socio-economic status" in an urban setting. I have served Catholic and public school systems. I have worked with and without union protection. I have pulled "all-nighters" grading student papers. I have worked through weekends and over most summers. I have earned a Master's degree and National Board Certification and re-certification. I was one of the only twenty-somethings who worked (alas, unsuccessfully) toward building a teacher's association in the Catholic diocese in which I worked. I believed it was necessary because much was expected of us, while little was paid. I have served as a building representative and as a negotiator for my local teacher's union after moving to the public sector. I make contact with each of my parents/guardians, whether they welcome my correspondence or not. I want students to feel like graduating from high school and educating themselves beyond that is not only something I believe they can do, it's something I expect them to do.
It is through these eyes that I watch this movie.
The trailer upset me, as I assumed teachers would, again, take a public bashing. Because, as you know, everyone has gone to school, and therefore, everyone is an expert at education. Right? Right. I can take it, though. I have thick skin. What was more troubling was watching students sit in a public lottery that was deciding their educational fate. I knew that some parts of that movie would require some tissues.
However, my good and wise friends made the point...If we are going to have an opinion about the movie, we need to see it for ourselves. Seen it I have. It inspired the following thoughts to anyone who sees it who is outside of education:
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know contact parents on a regular basis, especially when the parent contacts them first.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know care deeply about the students they teach and wish for them to succeed.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know are judged solely on one state test that happens once a year on which they can offer no support or assistance for their students to succeed. In Illinois, we are not even permitted to look at the student booklets when they take the state tests.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know use several points of data to make decisions about the achievement levels of their students.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know NEED the protection of a union because not all administrators in the school setting make just, or even logical, decisions.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know try to touch base with the parents of each student they have, even when they have over a hundred students on their caseloads.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have been stood up by parents who have scheduled meetings with them. Recently, a colleague shared with me that she had 1 out of 6 scheduled parents show up for conference times on an evening when she spent a great deal of time after school waiting for them.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know would LOVE to have the parents documented in the movie, as well as the kids. Those kids will be successful BECAUSE of their parents.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know who are tenured continue teaching with the same fervor as they did when they were probationary.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have never, ever had the chance to even sit at their desks much less fall asleep or read a book at them while class goes on (I do know some who have pulled this crap, though).
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know communicate regularly with students about their achievement in their classes.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have had a parent tell them that their after school lives are too busy for their children to complete homework.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know could, indeed, do things that tenure cannot protect. There are tenured teachers who have been fired. It depends on how good of a job the administrator does at observing, evaluating, and documenting his experiences with the employee.
With that said,
YES, sometimes unions can lose sight of their purpose and get in the way of education reform.
YES, unions are largely involved in politics, as the money schools get comes from budgets created by legislators.
YES, larger metropolitan areas have a hard time maintaining buildings and hiring and keeping good faculty. Please consider the working conditions and ask yourself if you are willing to commit to that before assigning judgment.
YES, some charter schools are successful. The data on charter schools over all was not mentioned in this movie. The "education system" was painted with a wide brush, but charter schools were looked at standing on individual merit.
YES, union contracts level teachers too much. I believe in merit pay, but I don't have a solid idea of how to create a "just" way of implementing a plan that will not compromise teacher integrity and is not based solely on the opinion of one administrator.
YES, I agree that using a traditional tracking system for students is not best practice. However, students do have to be grouped at some points of their day according to instructional needs. We call it "differentiating."
YES, some teachers should never, ever have entered the profession. Some should be let go. Some children should not have to suffer through apathetic teachers.
YES, the times are a-changin'. We HAVE to teach children in preparation for a world in which "blue collar" jobs are becoming non-existent. For some, it will require showing them an existence far different from the one in which they currently live. We need to stop fighting the world they live in, and learn to teach them not only to survive, but to thrive.
I appreciated that the film acknowledged that there are hard-working, good teachers in America. I believe the basic point of the film was that each child deserves to have one. I agree 100%.
On Wednesday, Jessie and I went to see Waiting for "Superman." If you are not familiar with this movie, please read this synopsis. If you want to see it, and do not wish to hear any spoilers, stop reading this post at this point. Let's start with the trailer:
I remember my days at Blackburn when we discussed "inner city" schools, and I wanted to be a part of teaching in an urban setting. I felt a strong calling to do so.
I have been a teacher for 20 years. My career started in a city, went affluent and private for a few years, came to a school that had both extremes, and has recently alighted upon a school with a large number of students who have what is called "low socio-economic status" in an urban setting. I have served Catholic and public school systems. I have worked with and without union protection. I have pulled "all-nighters" grading student papers. I have worked through weekends and over most summers. I have earned a Master's degree and National Board Certification and re-certification. I was one of the only twenty-somethings who worked (alas, unsuccessfully) toward building a teacher's association in the Catholic diocese in which I worked. I believed it was necessary because much was expected of us, while little was paid. I have served as a building representative and as a negotiator for my local teacher's union after moving to the public sector. I make contact with each of my parents/guardians, whether they welcome my correspondence or not. I want students to feel like graduating from high school and educating themselves beyond that is not only something I believe they can do, it's something I expect them to do.
It is through these eyes that I watch this movie.
The trailer upset me, as I assumed teachers would, again, take a public bashing. Because, as you know, everyone has gone to school, and therefore, everyone is an expert at education. Right? Right. I can take it, though. I have thick skin. What was more troubling was watching students sit in a public lottery that was deciding their educational fate. I knew that some parts of that movie would require some tissues.
However, my good and wise friends made the point...If we are going to have an opinion about the movie, we need to see it for ourselves. Seen it I have. It inspired the following thoughts to anyone who sees it who is outside of education:
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know contact parents on a regular basis, especially when the parent contacts them first.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know care deeply about the students they teach and wish for them to succeed.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know are judged solely on one state test that happens once a year on which they can offer no support or assistance for their students to succeed. In Illinois, we are not even permitted to look at the student booklets when they take the state tests.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know use several points of data to make decisions about the achievement levels of their students.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know NEED the protection of a union because not all administrators in the school setting make just, or even logical, decisions.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know try to touch base with the parents of each student they have, even when they have over a hundred students on their caseloads.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have been stood up by parents who have scheduled meetings with them. Recently, a colleague shared with me that she had 1 out of 6 scheduled parents show up for conference times on an evening when she spent a great deal of time after school waiting for them.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know would LOVE to have the parents documented in the movie, as well as the kids. Those kids will be successful BECAUSE of their parents.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know who are tenured continue teaching with the same fervor as they did when they were probationary.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have never, ever had the chance to even sit at their desks much less fall asleep or read a book at them while class goes on (I do know some who have pulled this crap, though).
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know communicate regularly with students about their achievement in their classes.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know have had a parent tell them that their after school lives are too busy for their children to complete homework.
PLEASE KNOW that most of the education professionals I know could, indeed, do things that tenure cannot protect. There are tenured teachers who have been fired. It depends on how good of a job the administrator does at observing, evaluating, and documenting his experiences with the employee.
With that said,
YES, sometimes unions can lose sight of their purpose and get in the way of education reform.
YES, unions are largely involved in politics, as the money schools get comes from budgets created by legislators.
YES, larger metropolitan areas have a hard time maintaining buildings and hiring and keeping good faculty. Please consider the working conditions and ask yourself if you are willing to commit to that before assigning judgment.
YES, some charter schools are successful. The data on charter schools over all was not mentioned in this movie. The "education system" was painted with a wide brush, but charter schools were looked at standing on individual merit.
YES, union contracts level teachers too much. I believe in merit pay, but I don't have a solid idea of how to create a "just" way of implementing a plan that will not compromise teacher integrity and is not based solely on the opinion of one administrator.
YES, I agree that using a traditional tracking system for students is not best practice. However, students do have to be grouped at some points of their day according to instructional needs. We call it "differentiating."
YES, some teachers should never, ever have entered the profession. Some should be let go. Some children should not have to suffer through apathetic teachers.
YES, the times are a-changin'. We HAVE to teach children in preparation for a world in which "blue collar" jobs are becoming non-existent. For some, it will require showing them an existence far different from the one in which they currently live. We need to stop fighting the world they live in, and learn to teach them not only to survive, but to thrive.
I appreciated that the film acknowledged that there are hard-working, good teachers in America. I believe the basic point of the film was that each child deserves to have one. I agree 100%.
Monday, November 1, 2010
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