Friday, July 22, 2011

When OCD and Depression Collide

In the decade of the 1990s and early 2000s, I was the sole reason that manila folder companies like Mead were living high on the hog.  I filed everything.  In December (or February depending on the year), the year's files went from our file cabinet into a box, lovingly numbered with the year.  Alphabetized files?  Yes.  Everything one could possibly want to save?  Yes.  An organized hoarder?  Yes.

In 2007, when the rubber hit the road and depression knocked me on my ass, I really think the depression was having a bitch-slap festival with my self-diagnosed OCD.  I have filed NOTHING since then.  I have a stack in my basement that is waiting to be filed.  Important papers have been placed in various baskets.  However, if we needed a paper, my former self would have known which box and file to look in to locate it in 20 seconds flat.  Now, there's a pile somewhere.

Do the math.  I was married in 1992...when this file frenzy began.  I did this until 2007.  That's about FIFTEEN boxes.  They are now stacked in my garage, awaiting being hauled away by a shredding company. Enter depression again.  It's much easier to sit down and stare at a computer screen (and I mean stare) than to go through these boxes to remove anything vital (yes, Mother, I found your living will!).  So, I realized I needed help.  I asked Scott to bring just one box in at a time to let me go through.  So far, three boxes have been gone through.  Here are some snippets of conversation:

"Did you ever transfer your 401K from KARMAK?"

"I don't know."

"What is this life insurance policy?  Is it still active?"

"I don't know."

The list goes on and on.

And in the time that I have taken to write this?  Another box bit the dust.

So, I guess my message is sometimes, depression has to be looked square in the eye and told to f-off or pay rent.

May this year be the year that I start scanning stuff and getting rid of paper copies of what I do not need.  Maybe.  Or maybe I should just celebrate getting through these boxes.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

It is what it is

May 6, 2011
July 10, 2011
July 10, 2011
July 10, 2011

I have not run for quite some time because my foot has been murderously hurting and I wanted to save it for my first love, Zumba.  My beloved Zumba goddess, Karen, has been at the Zumba Convention in Orlando.  The last Zumba class I attended was Wednesday night.  I have been doing a sit up/push up challenege (100 of each every day), but my cardio has been slacking.  She has been getting her groove on and will return, I am sure, ready to work out butts off.  So tonight, when the sun goes down a bit more, Ignatius and I will do a 2-mile jog.  I took some pics of me as of today and have included my pic right before Race for the Cure.  Here's the latest measurement update:

June 12:
Chest (sports bra on) 39 7/8"
Right arm 14 1/2"
Left arm 14 1/4"
Waist  33 7/8"
Hips 42 1/2"
Right Thigh 27 1/4"
Left Thigh 27"
Weight: 194.6 lbs (yeah, I posted it)

July 10:
Chest 39 1/4"
Right arm 13 1/4"
Left arm 14"
Waist 33"
Hips 42 1/2"
Right Thigh 26 1/2"
Left Thigh 26 1/2"
Weight: 195.6 lbs

So, my weight has hovered, which makes total sense, as my eating habits are not great, and I have not been tracking.  But my measurements have changed, except for my hips, which includes my lovely butt/butt area.  I can definitely feel a change in my arms and thighs.  The push ups have assisted with that immensely.  With the situps, I am hoping to work my lower ab area as well as upper.

For the next month, I will try less crap, more good: veggies, fruits etc. more than (not instead of) candy and such.  I will not be "giving up" things, just expanding my circle of eating to include more of what it should.  I have been good about water intake, which is usually the case in the summer months for me.

I also want to find workouts that will target my lower ab/hip/butt areas as well as the part of the back right behind the arms and in the bra area.  It seems everything around these parts is toning, but these parts are not, so I am missing something for sure.  Probably where the weight is that won't shake off.

I should return to 10-Minute Trainer.  I left it when I had some severe foot pain and I had to pare down.  It was a great set of workouts.  This week, I will add it back in.

Until August!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Kindergarten Documented

Did some digital scrapbooking of Kindergarten.  Click on each for a larger view.  I left out some of the things that have already been scrapbooked and blogged.  More on my digi-process here.