Thursday, August 7, 2014

Forty-five

For whatever reason, 45 feels like a "big deal" birthday.

My first thought is of people I have met along the way who never saw this particular birthday.  With that thought, I am filled with gratitude that I am healthy and, well, around.

My next thought is how vividly I recall turning 40, and how it does not feel like it was 5 years ago.  I was not exercising, packed on some serious pounds thanks to depression meds, and was needing a bit of a change before all that got out of hand.  And change I did.  Exercise has been a consistent part of my life since then.  Zumba, Werq, Strong, RIPPED, walking, and running have been in and out of my days as needed.  I keep somewhat regular doctor appointments and take most precautions offered.

In theory and if I am so blessed, this is mid-life.  Some inventory of what I have done with the precious gifts I have been given is in order.  These are NOT in priority order, and some of these far outweigh others.

-Graduating with honors from high school, college, and two graduate school experiences
-Receiving National Board certification...twice
-Maintaining a thoughtful teaching career for twenty-three years spanning a wide range of experiences
-Granddaughter, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, great aunt, cousin to some pretty amazing people
-Successful (surfing the ups, downs, and in-betweens) marriage for twenty-two years
-Supporting an active and intentional life of faith, with the guidance of the Catholic church, including fervent, sincere, and frequent prayer
-Mothering two extraordinary boys for seventeen years in a world that may or may not accept their differences
-Accepting leadership roles since grade school and the responsibilities a leader has
-Fighting for what I believe is right--even when I see the eyes roll, even when I know I need to shut up, even when I realize the fight might be a waste of energy, even when the fight is for others and not for me--telling it like it is
-Building wonderful friendships that allow me to walk a tightrope knowing that their net is always there for me
-Conquering the stormy sea of grief, OCD, and anxiety, holding in the the boat for dear life and praying that it won't capsize, bailing out the waters of depression

If this is halfway, I'll take it with very little complaints.