I am back on Celexa, with the occasional Xanax. I am working myself into the ground--AGAIN--so it should be no surprise that the insidious cousin of workaholism, depression, is in my life again. Once at bay, this school year of great stress has unleashed the bastard. This time around, I know how to do the dance. Meds and counseling.
An interesting thing about the meds. The last time I took them, I gained 60 pounds. I have a hypothesis, as I am looking at a 10 pound gain so far. When one part of your brain is suppressed, another is unleashed. To get through what I have to get through in a day, much mindless eating occurs. I know what is happening, and it continues to happen. I work out 3-4 times a week, but that will not counterbalance the food that I consume. The part of my brain that controls that, I believe, is being suppressed by my meds. It's high on whatever...and could care less about me gaining weight. But another part of my brain cares a LOT...I have worked hard to get the weight off, and I am not interested in gaining back.
Still another part of me wonders about the idea of chemical weight gain. In addition to the eating, is Celexa a drug that will just pack pounds on me. My doc has me staying on it for at least a year, as depression recurrence is noted in research for those who go off it before being on it at least that long. So, now I have to look toward my counselor, with whom I start on Monday, to give me some type of plan for this. It's all good.
My stress level is not going to lessen in the next few months, but my response to stress needs to. So, that's the old journey made new.
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