Thirteen Mother's Days

In celebrating Mother's Day this year, I reflect upon the gift of being a mother. It can be viewed that being the mother of children with special needs is burdensome. I agree that at times, I wallow in my, "This is not fair," conversation with the Lord. However, what keeps me grounded is the belief that each mother is given her motherhood road to travel.

I think of a friend who recently relayed a story to me about his brother's wife. They found out that she, at 5 months along on her pregnancy, was carrying a child with a birth defect. There was 0% chance of survival for the baby, and the longer the pregnancy went on, the more her life would be in danger. They are devoutly Christian, and strongly pro-life, and now had to enter what I call the "shades of gray" decision about aborting the baby. Her Mother's Day this year had to have been quite a trial.

Or, there's my friend, Julia, who is FINALLY celebrating her first Mother's Day. She has waited almost two decades for this to happen, and has finally adopted her son. Her Mother's Day this year had to have been euphoric.

Our Mass this morning focused a lot on Mary. I kept thinking about how old she would have been when Jesus' public life began... mid forties. And then he was killed before she was 50, most likely. I thought of the struggles that came with her pregnancy and the raising of Jesus.

There's such a wide spectrum of reaction from women who are mothers, who fulfill the role of mother, and who want to be mothers as far as Mother's Day is concerned. Where you are in your journey has a great deal to do with the savoring of the day. So the question is, where am I?

I am truly grateful for each and every day, even the days when I was told my sons were on the autism spectrum. Sure, I would love to change the financial hurdles we have had, or the depression, or the social challenges my children face in an unaccepting society, or even (trivially) the weight gain that all of these years has seen. I won't be naive enough to say there weren't parts that sucked. However, each and every part added a learning element to my life. I think each mother faces challenges, no matter what her child is like. The greatest blessing that I have is to "change the things I can, accept the things I cannot change, and be wise enough to know the difference."