Doctors and such

Last Thursday, we met with April from the P.L.A.Y. Project, and we have more goals to build upon with Max:

1. In his play, increase the interactive range of affects and emotions when problem solving (like bad acting). 
2. Use pretend play and drama. Use the stuffed animals for fighting.  Make sure ideas are guiding the play.  Enter Max's ideas through his make believe world as a character in his drama using words and actions together.
3. Play tag.  Freeze tag.  Simple motor play.  Simple rules.

We also received a write up of all the pre-assessments they had done prior to accepting us into the program.  They will compare this baseline information with re-assessment at the end of our time together.

All of these goals build upon things we do a little of, but we need to step things up a bit.  There was a lot April talked about that we can do in play that will prepare him for how to handle peer interactions in school.

Yesterday, Max had his Kindergarten physical.  Silly me, I thought, for the first time with either of our kids, that I would let Scott take him.  I was still scarred from holding him down when they tried to find a vein for his bloodwork, I figured I had earned a time off just this once.  I tried my best to prep Scott, but he did let his guard down in between rounds of shots.  Max actually bent a needle in his leg when he slapped it about.  Also, Scott and Dr. Farinas had some conversation regarding vaccinations, and Max came home WITHOUT having been given his MMR.

{pause to let that sink in}

Let me give you more of the story.  I was at Zumba and Scott called from the Dr.s office and suddenly told me he wasn't sure about the vaccines.  To which I replied, "Just get the vaccines.  The vaccines did not cause the autism.  Plus he HAS autism!"  So, I call back an hour later to hear about the bent needle and the chat he and the good doctor had.  Apparently Dr. F. wasn't that big of a fan of giving so many vaccines at one time.  That did not help the situation.  So now we have this form stating we knew about the vaccines but we opted out of one of them.  Eventually, I am sending someone's A$$ back to the doctor's office for the MMR. 

I am not an irrational person.  Had we discussed this prior to the eleventh hour, and decided it together, it may have turned out the same way.  It's just that, when I relinquish control to someone else, and this happens, it sets me back on the whole delegation thing.  Plus, if he gets measles, mumps, or reubella, someone better be ready to bail me out of jail.  Enough said?

So today's appointment was seeing the eye doctor for Kindergarten.  Amazing, isn't it?  Dentist, physician, optometrist...all before Kindergarten.  I believed, again, that others had control of this, and I would take a back seat to the professionals.  I didn't need to control the situation.

{pause to let that sink in}

Well, I should have known when the assistant pulled up a string of letters and asked Max what letters he could see that I was in for trouble.  Or when they had him look at a picture of a clown and several other things and asked him what he saw... yes, again, I needed to step in and instruct.  The doctor herself was not bad.  Just a few cues from me, and she got it.  Have my son, whose expressive language is a year delayed, POINT to a PICTURE of what he sees.  Voila!  20/20.  It was a rocky start, though.

So, now Max is set for Kindergarten, as far as the medical/paperwork requirements are concerned.  Just one, big roller coaster ride.  Lots of hills.  I need to scream at the top of my lungs more, though.  I think that's what's missing...

The Commencement of Learning

It's that time of year.  Shown below is Ignatius' pile of clothes for school that no longer fit him... all purchased within the 2009-2010 school year, mind you.

We shall be doing some shopping soon.

Another pic is of Max's school social story.  This was sent to us from Northpoint Elementary earlier in the summer.  He loves having it read over and over.  During the summer, he was not interested in even hearing the word "school."  We changed our wording to "Kindergarten," and now he is VERY excited.  We shall see what happens when the first day rolls around.  Hopefully, he will not sense my own nervousness.  I shall practice.

A "Disney" World, No Tab Aftertaste

When Ignatius was 5, we went on our first family trip to DisneyWorld in Orlando.  It was such a good time.  Every person with whom we had contact had the same demeanor: it was ALL about the customer.  The customer was, truly, always right. 

We came to find that we were being charged mini-bar charges for our room, yet we were not using the mini-bar.  We went to the consierge and explained the situation.  He did not have to believe us.  The person who checked the mini-bar each day could have been called and questioned to be sure we were on the up-and-up.

His response was, "I am so sorry, ma'am. We will take these charges off your bill immediately."  From that point on, for the last 8 years, we have shared this story.  Talk about handling things well on the business end.

Now I know that Disney is a large enough company that they can take the hit for dishonest customers.  And I know people might be able to share some, not so fuzzy, stories about Disney.  But, firsthand, I witnessed what it felt like to be on the other end of great customer service.

For many years, I had jobs where I was trained along the "company line" in customer service.  Never was I trained to deflect the issue back onto the customer.  Even when I had customers who "bought" expensive dresses, wore them for an occasion, and returned them, I was trained to take the items back and make the customer happy.  I did as I was trained.  The customer is always right.

So, there are those who might be wondering why this iPhone4 issue is working my last nerve.  Yes, there are pitfalls to all cell phones.  I am an AT&T customer, I get that.  And yes, the iPhone4 is a delightful, smart phone.  The display is crystal clear.  It takes wonderful photos and video.  I appreciate having 3G.  Face Time is cool (with my husband), though I don't see me using it too regularly.  It's amazing technology.

A big thing was amiss, however.  When presented with this big thing, the 3 million people who bought the phone were not greeted with, "I'm sorry, ma'am.  We will fix the issue right away."  We were made to believe that:
-we were holding the phone "incorrectly"
-we needed a software upgrade
-calls weren't REALLY dropping; we just were not aware of our reception at the time
-there is a fix, but it will cost you $29
-there's not a problem
-if there is an issue, put some tape over the antenna--that will solve the non-problem

Then, finally, 4 weeks later, in an orchestrated "press" conference I hear:
-Apple's not the only one; all cell phones have antenna issues (oh, now there's an antenna issue?)
-less than 1% of the buyers called to complain (that amounts to about 15,000 complaints; I did not call to complain, as I figured I would be greeted with the same party line that the company mouthpiece was giving the press)
-but, my goodness, data shows that calls ARE dropping
-OK, we don't really believe there's an issue (we're victims of "Antenna-gate"; feel sorry for us), but we just want our customers happy (to shut up)
-so, everyone is getting a case

My issue is not with my iPhone.  No way.  Too many people went in to making a really great idea.  I daresay, my problem isn't even really with "Apple."

Yes, Steve Jobs, my problem is with you.  This entire thing could have been diffused by you.  You would have looked like a superhero by simply saying, "Woe, there's an issue here.  Let's do right by our customers."  In fact, I would have lauded you from this lowly blog for doing just that.

Instead, you acted like a tired parent, so weary from his toddler's persistent whining, that he gives in.  Your customers are some of the smartest people in the world, sir.  Don't treat us like village idiots.

Thanks for the case.  I appreciate that the company is making good.  It's kind of like the experience of drinking a Tab, though.  At first, bubbly and seemingly sweet and familiar, but leaves a terrible after taste.

Now I am sure some devout Apple-lover is going to argue with me about Tab, right?  Bring it.

Cross-reference

Check out the craft blog for pics of the "new" furniture.

7/4

July 4th is awesome. Our country celebrates its birthday and its freedom. It's mid-summer--some is behind us, some is in front of us. Usually it's warm weather. I love the 4th of July.

This weekend has been filled with quite a few interesting happenings.

On Thursday, we visited with Miss April from PLAY Project. We watched some interesting video from our last visit, she did some modeling, and we set up some additional suggestions for the month:
1. Play dumb. Make him show you or tell you what he wants. Make him work to show you what he wants. Use playful obstruction in play. This is a goal that I find interesting, as we have become so accustomed to "reading" Max that we really haven't done too much in allowing him to tell us what he wants.
2. Use rewarding/reinforcement. When he initiates a response (called "opening a circle"), reward him with a tickle, rub, or rough housing. Give immediate reward or sensory motor play. April pointed out the proprioceptive need he has relating to pounding his feet. After we PLAYed a great deal, he did a lot of jumping on the concrete (made me cringe) over and over, fulfilling a sensory need for pressure on his feet.
3. Use simple pretend play. Give things feelings or personalities (talk through the toys). Use slapstick humor. Use theme and variation in play. This was interesting, as during her visit he started to play on the PC. I thought for sure he was "done--" focused on his game and the rest of the world was shut off. She initiated play with a stuffed animal, as if it was playing the game, too. He engaged in this play. I guess I underestimated how much he could be drawn from his game time.

On Thursday, I also made a trip to the dentist, as, while flossing, I broke off part of my tooth. A crown will come on Monday, alas.

On Friday, after Zumba, I finally went to the podiatrist. I needed to be fitted for custom orthodics for my feet. No fracture. But the way I walk messes with the tendons on my feet (I have now messed with tendons on both of my feet due to exercise), and he felt the orthodics were necessary so I could avoid tearing a tendon, which would require surgery to fix (no thanks).

After that appointment, we headed to Rochelle, IL, to the Rochelle Railroad Park. This is a crossroads for many railroad tracks and is one of the busiest crossings in the country. Man, was it noisy, too! We then stayed in a hotel (Hilton Garden) with a very cool pool in Rockford. On Saturday, we visited the Illinois Railroad Museum in Union, IL. Great time, although way too much for Max in one 24-hour period.

Today, we started the day off with church. The whole family went, and Max was extremely well-behaved. He knew we planned to head to the car wash, one of his favorite things in the world at the moment, and that brings out the inner angel in him for sure. After the car wash, we had a series of storms, and I completely sacked out. What else do you do when it rains, right? We barbecued some tasty marinated pork chops, had some couscous, and corn on the cob, and the all-American strawberry shortcake desert. Now, we are patiently awaiting heading to the fireworks (yeah, I forgot to get sparklers this year... bummer). It's all good. :)

There are many other photos and videos on Facebook, for the ever-so-curious. My personal favorite is the car wash video... a must see!

Every dad has his challenges

Autism is a marriage-ender. That's what I have read. The overwhelming amount of divorces occur because there is little to no time to work on the couple that started it all. Individuals in the marriage miss the needed attention to some part of the couple's relationship that had to take a backseat to the 24/7 micromanaging of autism. If what is missed is missed acutely enough, the marriage dissolves.

These realities cause me to write today with gratitude about my husband, who also happens to be the father of my children, both of whom have ASD. I can't imagine trying to raise the boys on my own, but I also can't imagine a better choice for a dad than theirs. Granted, we both have moments of sheer and utter despair. Moments when Max screams directly into his ear and he can't hear for about 10 minutes. Moments when, because something wasn't put exactly where it needed to be put on the table, we need to hold the contents of the table, and all of its chairs, while the meltdown ensues. Moments when all we want to do is make a "quick" run to pick something up at the store, but cannot just go in and out without making plans similar to military combat tactics. Moments when we ask Ignatius to follow multi-step directions only to be met with his confused face. Moments when our 13 year old is frustrated to tears as to why he cannot handle stress the way some of his peers can, and why they think it's funny when he has a meltdown.

However, despite what is difficult in our parenting, my husband loves our children. It is evident to me on a daily basis. He helps them when they need help. He muddles through his frustrations to work with their issues. The boys adore him, quite literally. And when they draw something that is amazingly creative, or say something particularly profound, or finally reach a developmental milestone on which we have been working for what seems like forever, or simply when we watch them sleep in a peaceful slumber, his face shows how much he adores them in return.

Is he perfect? No. But neither am I, and it's never been my expectation that he would/should be perfect. He does the best he can with what he has each day. I think that's true of ALL good fathers. They do the best they can with what they have each day. So, to all fathers out there doing the same, I applaud you and say, "Happy Father's Day!" Your children (and their children) are the true beneficiaries of a strong and loving dad.

Is there some sort of spray for that?

Yes, I know it sounds bizarre. And yes, I know it has some variables, as it is dealing with the human condition, which is neither stable nor completely predictable. Still, after months of considering this, I have finally purchased and started using a bodybugg. The idea behind the bodybugg
is that, during your waking hours, you wear an armband. This armband has sensors that detect, in essence:

• motion
• heat flux (release)
  
• electric current on skin surface
• skin temperature

Using these four main components, the bodybugg records your caloric output--the amount of calories you burn. It includes the stuff of being alive and upright--getting dressed, doing things around the house, sleeping, and the like. When I awoke, it estimated that, between 12 AM and 7:30 AM, I expended about 640 calories. From the time I put the band on until now (about 8 hours), just doing "stuff," it has recorded a 1000 calorie expenditure. I have not formally "worked out," other than doing a set of 20 sit ups for a Facebook challenge (which expended less than 100 calories).

Along with the band, I also purchased a display which can be worn as a clip or a watch. Without the display, I would have to hook the bodybugg up via USB to my laptop and gather this information. The display refreshes every 60 seconds, and tells you calories burned, steps taken, activity, and the like (I wish it did heart rate) for today or yesterday (when I have worn it more than one day). It's synced to the armband. You don't need the watch, but it's nice to have the info right there.

At the end of my day today, I will sync the armband with the website. Throughout the day, I have entered calories consumed on the site. Data will be transferred to determine a calorie deficit. The science behind this is, if you have a 500 calorie deficit per day, you will be setting yourself up for a 1-lb per week weight loss. It's a measuring device to help you track what was not so easy to track before... how many calories you were actually burning.

So, we shall see. Having the bodybugg does not make weight come off. It's a way to keep yourself accountable. I have been doing activity for months, but I have not been keeping myself accountable about what I am eating as much as I could. This is the next step. I'll keep you posted!