Autism Awareness Tidbit #12

It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with us.

We have had the blessing of many, many people offering us support on our parenting walk.  Our families are not in the immediate area, so I am grateful for the amazing network of people who are there for us.  One thing that I think is true of not just parents of children on the spectrum, but parents of children with any sort of special need: Superman/Superwoman complex.

More people than I can count have offered to watch my children over the years when neither Scott nor I could.  Good people.  A select few have watched them.  Why?  Because we are neurotic.  We go through our day navigating this condition our kids have, and, from our perspective, we could not possibly ask someone else to take that on.  And, when we get even an idea that we might want to leave them with someone, the list of 10,000,000 things that they need to know is the first thing that comes to our minds.  So, we juggle.  And we do not date, DESPITE the fact that we KNOW we need to cultivate alone time.  Why?  Well, when everything else takes a bite out of your day, you are too pooped to party.  Heck, you barely even remember each other's names.

It is important to remember, however, that in marriages with even the most stressful situations, your spouse needs the "couple time" that was there BC (before children).  I stink at remembering this, and I am damn lucky I have a husband who puts up with everything else and everyone else seemingly taking priority.  But I need to get better at offering him the time he needs.

My tidbit for tonight: Hearts are warmed by offers to stay with kids with special needs so their parents can get out on occasion.  Keep them coming, but don't be sad if you are not taken up on them.  It's not you.  It's us.